I've said it often, a hug is one of my most favorite things of life! I love to give and receive hugs. They are very valuable to me but when I am in a serious low or depressed state, the hardest thing for me to do is hug someone for fear they may "know" that I mostly needed one in return.
I was not nurtured as a child. I was loved, don't get me wrong but I was not nurtured...major difference. For one, I kept myself isolated and didn't want anyone getting too close to me. I feared breaking down and spilling all the secrets that my little heart was full of.
I didn't realize just what I had missed out on until I became and adult and a mother. That was when I realize the value of a hug. Once I started opening up and allowing someone to hug me...i was feeling a different affect it was having on me. It felt so good.
I am still bad about clamming up when I feel the need for a hug and tend to run in the other direction because I feel shameful for feeling the desire or the need for one and certainly don't want my vulnerable feelings to show.
I have recently been reading hug therapy books by
Kathleen Keating
Because I know I am not the only one in need of hugs on occasions. I found her books quite interesting!! People ask me "how can you reach out so easily to people you do not know?" It has to do with the understanding and compassionate heart that I have been given to understand that those people have a place in this world just like I do, they hurt and feel just like I do and they must be deserving or God would not have created them. That's just my thought on that.
The Power of Hugging:
"Hugging accomplishes many things that you may never have thought of. It ...
- feels good
- dispels loneliness
- overcomes fear
- opens doors to feelings
- builds self-esteem (WOW, SHE actually wants to hug me!)
- fosters altruism (I can't believe it but I actually want to hug that old son-of-a-gun)
- slows down aging (huggers stay young longer)
- helps curb appetite (we eat less when we are nourished by hugs and when our arms are busy wrapped around others)
- More Good Things from Hugging
- eases tension
- fights insomnia
- keeps arms and shoulder muscles in condition
- provides stretching exercise if you are short
- provides stooping exercise if you are tall
- offers a wholesome alternative to promiscuity
- offers a healthy, safe alternative to alcohol and other drug abuse (better hugs than drugs!)
- affirms physical being
- is democratic (anyone is eligible for a hug)
Even More Benefits from Hugging
- is ecologically sound (it does not upset the environment)
- is energy-efficient (saves heat)
- is portable
- requires no special equipment
- demands no special setting (a fine place for a hug is any place from a doorstep to an executive conference room ... from a church parlor to a football field)
- makes happy days happier
- imparts feelings of belonging
- fills up empty places in our lives
- keeps on working to dispense benefits even after the hug is released
Hugging is healthy. It helps the body’s immunity system, keeps you healthier, cures depression, reduces stress, induces sleep, invigorating, rejuvenating, has no unpleasant side effects and is nothing less than a miracle drug! Its organic, naturally sweet, no pesticides, no preservation's, no artificial ingredients and is 100% wholesome. Hugging is practically perfect. There are no movable parts, no batteries to wear out, no periodic check-ups, low energy consumption, high energy yield, inflation proof, non fattening, no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, theft proof, non taxable, non polluting and fully returnable! We should be hugged or giving hugs at least twelve times a day. The giving of a hug sets the message straight! It’s a simple and wonderful message which is given."
WOW---Who Knew?? No wonder I love hugs so much! Its a miracle drug!!:p
I remember one time when I was a young teen, I went to give a lady a hug and she said to me " You gave me a hug, now allow me to give you one back" so she hugged me and I was amazed that she cared enough to give one in return. So simple yet so meaningful. I will never forget that dose of love in return.
Last year, as some of you know I was going through a severe depression. I withdrew from my world around me and discovered facebook while staying hid in my home, I refused to go places nor was I wanting to be around people. That made the computer (YOU) my friend...my outlet.
Even after making some friends...I was hiding my depression and grew more and more depressed because I was refusing to share my deepest struggles at the time and during that time of my deepest pain; I wrote a poem.
In the cyber world, you have to actually express your feelings, needs, etc by writing for one to understand or know your thoughts or feelings because there is no face to face or eye to eye contact. No body language or facial expression to read. Even then it was hard for me to express myself. I was hurting so deeply and didn't know how to reach out....
How loud does a person need to scream to get even ones attention...
How far must one go to express a need...
How many signs must one give in hope to receive...
How much does one have to hurt before another can read...
No voice to be heard, no eye contact to be made, no body language to read...
Today, there has been a need, but did anybody see?
Does this mean i have to actually type out the words in order for you to read, just to know my very need?
Can you feel that i have a need or do you actually have to read?
Why must you force me to do the uncomfortable deed, to actually write out what it is that i need?
What is it you ask, while i sit here and grieve?
Before i share, just allow me to breathe.
I admit that i feared you may shrug, at the thought of me asking for a simple hug.
The sign is really there, if you truly do care. Its waving on a pole.......the outskirts of my soul"......
Those are some strong words and I feel the pain I was experiencing then, every time I read them. Thank goodness I am doing so much better this month than I have in the past several months. It helps to open up and allow some of those healing hugs into our lives.
I just wanted to take the time to share with you of how something so simple could mean so much to someone. You never know what they may be going through.
Freely give of your hugs during this "month of Love"! Find someone to hug today. You have no idea just what it might do for someone in need. A hug to me means more than ANY gift that could be bought and/or given.
I bless you today my friends and here is a ((hug)) for you!
*tap, tap* Is this thing on?
5 years ago
A hug is a wonderful thing, I so believe a hug can do wonders for you! As I can't give you a hug right now, here's my ((((((HUG)))))) for you:)
ReplyDeleteWow Kimeri, what a moving post! Your poem is amazing, and you are so, so right...hugging does all of those things! Sometimes I get in the don't-touch-me-mood, and it's then that I probably need a hug the most : )
ReplyDeleteI'm with Lin.....I can't hug ya in person, but here.....{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} there's a cyber one for ya! xoxo